Critical Nature - It's Paralyzing Affect On Us

Just Today

While wading through the first pile I find documents and mail that should have been thrown away a long time ago. The critical nature inside begins to tear away at me, apparently my own inner voices taunting, "this should have been thrown away a long time ago" then "all this stuff needs to be in labeled file folders" and on it went.

This lens is meant to explore this phenomenon, often I can be paralyzed, or sent off into a whole other direction. I know I'm not alone, I've seen firings, breakdowns, and worse, as words run through minds and thoughts turn into things. Make no mistake, my lifetime has provided experiences, even seeing death produced by this possibly dramatic behavior. My inquiry intends to help me learn, using critical thought to find best choices for well being and success.

Interested in the image of Megan Kumakura above? Click link right here to go to Woman with a Head Injury.

All of the photos here and in my lenses are linked to the source sight where they or related images are offered.

Photo of Rachel Parker

Just now, I'm reminded of a tragic accident that illustrates this point. My Mother loves Cats, so do I and have supported several. We often had kittens in my childhood home. One day, a storm was raging, one of the baby kittens turned up missing. My Mother became terribly upset and rushed us into the car, very dramatically, we were going to rescue the cat that was assumed to be outside. We filled the Monte Carlo in the driveway, Mother started it and began to back up running over something. Upon inspection, we discovered the kitten dead on the concrete, it had been sitting up on top of the front tire.

Using this example scares me a bit, who could be offended, but it's a fact. What were the options we had available that could have changed this outcome? Does any one choice offer us a best case scenario for the safety of all living things?

Photo of Megan Kumakura & JJ Montgomery

One day at a sales job long ago, I witnessed a minor conflict that resulted in job loss and ill will held to this day. We were on the sales floor, and a woman was gossiping about the store manager. I suspect he knew this was happening with this individual, he asked her to do something or made a harmless comment, I don't recall the exact issue, just that it would not have bothered me. She responded dramatically and began yelling at him across the sales floor. Completely unacceptable behavior for any employee inside a retail business. His demeanor also escalated, I was behind her and suggested silence, only trouble could lie ahead. Undeterred, she continued to criticize him until he yelled back at her, "your fired!". Of course, everyone was affected for the next few hours and longer. I've had the occasion to stay connected to both people from that incident, the sound of one's name to the other stands the hair up on the back of their neck. What causes this? Is it in all of us? How can one transcend this element of human nature?

Megan Kumakura & Jessica Jo Montgomery

Beautiful Megan Kumakura

So, how do we create a setting of the sail for Win-Win scenarios? Well, if I knew all the answers, this lens may not exist. Yet, I've done it, Megan pictured here is a great example, does this image show her in the best light? Will she be honored or damaged? Every decision has to honor her! My motives have to be scrutinized at times, yes, this critical thought can lead us to decisions that nurture our lives. Daily, inventory must be taken, even minute by minute, asking this question, "am I honoring myself and this situation". We know how to do it, most of us pick things that we commit to and only honor. What are they for you? When do you use different defaults for action? Do you pick different actions for a son or daughter, than towards a friend or co-worker?

Could it just come down to unconditional love? Not romantic love, just a general acceptance of someone or something because. All of the sudden thoughts push into my head about a dog. I've cared for a few, but one in-particular made huge contributions to my life. He schooled me on this subject in a big way, more in the next text module, so I can add his picture. :-)

Melvin pictured here just 6 months old or so. A friend gave me the gift of this dog, I never asked. Up until this point dogs I had cared for were small or medium sized, I was in for a treat. ;-) He turned out to be a 125# force of nature, I fell in love with him. But, early on, directing him did not always bear fruit. We actually had to get counseling, yes, we did. When Melvin did not understand me or feel like following, he wouldn't. If he became confused or fearful with me he would just resist, fight, run, or shut down dropping to the ground. And trying to make him do anything was a physical challenge, nearly impossible at times. Melvin was a strong willed, intelligent, working animal. He had needs, and also had to be led, it worked out best if he wanted to do things, so much easier.

For the next 12 years I would have to learn the power of attraction to be the pack leader for this beautiful living thing. And I did just that, never raising my voice or striking him. As the years went by he got better and better at listening and serving me. He could not fail to follow a command, it became a game to train him new things. The more I tried, the more he could do, and the more I learned about the effects of unconditional love. But that's another lens, it's in the works, stay tuned.

Melvin was not perfect, he shed like crazy leaving hair everywhere, I loved him anyway. He used to dig up the whole yard, I swear he could dig a foot per second, I loved him anyway. He barked, a loud deep bark that said, "I'm the Big Dog", loved him anyway. He wanted to be fed everyday regardless of what was going on with me, I loved him anyway. Slobber would get on my clothes when he came to show me affection, I loved him anyway. So why did I give this to Melvin and yet have criticized or turned away from others just because of some feature of their appearance?

I don't know why, but I know why not, commitment and unconditional love! instead of criticism and judgment.

On that note, I'm outta here for now!

Cheers, Christopher